


A Nail, A Mother, A Storm

by hellotomyoldheart



Series: of the same coin [2]
Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Character Study, Gen, Kinda, Light Angst, Mentions of Violence, Metaphors, Post-Canon, Pre-Canon, Time Skips, Ursa (Avatar) is a Good Parent, mommy issues!!, mother daughter dynamics, we are ignoring the comics here
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-26
Updated: 2020-07-26
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:20:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,145
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25517947
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hellotomyoldheart/pseuds/hellotomyoldheart
Summary: Ursa had long, filed nails. And Azula vividly remembers them being stained with blood.
Relationships: Azula & Ursa (Avatar), Azula & Zuko (Avatar)
Series: of the same coin [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1848964
Comments: 5
Kudos: 114





	A Nail, A Mother, A Storm

**Author's Note:**

> hi i started writing this because i wrote something abt zuko and really wanted to write abt azula & ursa. this fic is based on [this](https://themetaisawesome.tumblr.com/post/620108322457206784/something-ive-noticed-on-my-latest-rewatch-i) post. this might disagree with canon, like the last one because i'm still on season two. i know some stuff about the last season so stuff from that might come in. when googling ursa i found out stuff she's done in the comics but i'm ignoring that. i hope you enjoy!

When she was young, Azula watched her mother scratch her father so hard there was blood.

Ursa had long, filed nails. She always did, for as long as Azula could remember. Her first memories, the clear ones, are of Ursa running her hands through Azula’s hair or scratching her back. 

Ursa had long, filed nails. And Azula vividly remembers them being stained with blood. 

Azula woke because of the storm, she got out of bed because of the fight. Zuko was able to sleep through storms, even if he didn’t he normally stayed under the covers. He never took the first step unless he had too, coward.

Azula crept from her room and wandered down to the wing where she heard the yelling. The floor was warm, burning hot like cement in the summer. She had learned to accept the scolding hot environment. Azula came to a slow outside the large room, peeking through the curtains. 

Her mother and father were arguing. They were both in their nightwear but it didn’t make them any less terrifying. Azula had never seen her mother look so angry.

Ursa was furious, no doubt. Her brows were narrowed and normally sympathetic eyes were filled with rage. She stood tall and poised, spitting out words at Ozai with no visible fear. Ozai talked at the same time Ursa did but her voice was more powerful and steady. 

Ursa finished whatever she was saying and turned around, walking away from the Firelord.

Ozai grabbed Ursa’s wrist and Azula stiffed a whimper of panic. Thunder snapped outside the palace. Ursa raised her free hand and clawed at Ozai’s face, she broke his skin. Blood leaked, her mother’s fingernails were no longer clean.

Ursa pulled free and moved to the exit after hissing something at Ozai, Azula ran as quietly as she could away. She hid around the corner and ran to her mother when Ursa turned. “Mommy!” 

Ursa seemed slightly shocked at Azula’s whine, at the small arms wrapping around her bare legs. Azula remembers the smell of smoke and iron. 

Ursa crouched down and brought her hands to Azula’s flushed face, her wide and curious eyes. Ursa tucked some of Azula’s hair behind her ear and cupped her daughter’s cheek, “did the storm wake you?”

Azula nodded because there was nothing else she could say. Ursa opened her arms and lifted Azula up with a grunt, holding the girl at her hip. Ursa kissed Azula’s forehead softly, then nodded and started off to her bedroom. 

“I know the storm can be scary,” Ursa whispered as they walked. “But it will always pass. It can’t rain forever. The sky can only be angry for so long. Only so long until it runs out of lightning.” 

Azula stared out the windows, at the pouring rain. A crack of lightning echoed and she clutched onto Ursa tighter. In response, Ursa brought her closer to her chest and stroked her hair.

“It’s okay, it’s okay. I’m right here,” Ursa told Azula when they got close to Azula’s room. She stood in front of some windows, pulling back a heavy curtain. Azula widened her eyes, Ursa stepped closer. “See? Just some rain. No different from the water you and Zuko play in.”

Azula reached forward and set her hand flat against the glass, it was cold and wet. Her mother watched. In another life, one where Azula accepted what she never wanted to accept, one where she knew that sometimes fire is just a light and not a weapon, where she looked in the mirror and just saw a girl, where she learned before she fought, where she was not the daughter of Firelord Ozai and Ursa, not princess of the Firenation, not girl who never had control over her own life, not girl who was born  _ lucky,  _ not girl who had her fate sealed from the moment she took her first breath. In another life, one far from here, one over the water and in the distance-

Azula let herself go. Azula wasn’t named after her grandfather. In another life, Azula’s life was her own from the moment she was born. In another life, Azula wasn’t a monster. 

Ursa set her hand next to Azula’s. Ursa’s long nails, sharp and bloodstained, her lean fingers and jutting out bones. Azula’s short and stubby nails, calloused fingers, scars from when she worked herself too hard. There was another strike of lightning, Azula did not flinch. It was so bright that Ursa’s fingernails glowed. After a few moments, Ursa started walking again.

“What were you and dad yelling about?” Azula asked quietly as Ursa walked. Ursa held onto Azula a little tighter, she let out a quick breath.

“Azula, sweet girl,” Ursa started, looking Azula in the eyes. She brought one of her hands to Azula’s face and stroked her cheekbone. “There are some things you will never know. Some things you will never understand. And I’m so sorry.”

Azula said nothing, just looked behind them as they walked. The dim rooms and booming storm. She thought she saw a tear stream down her mother's cheek.

When Ursa tucks Azula into bed, Azula grabbed Ursa’s hand and looked at her nails. She looked at the red, the sharpness, the weapon that could be beautiful. “I want mine like yours.”

Ursa tilted her head to the side, a strange and steady look on her face. She nodded, moved her other hand, and ran it through Azula’s hair. “I’ll teach you how to do it in the morning.”

* * *

Zuko met her eyes, something grief-filled and betrayed in his face. He stared at her hands, his blood under her nails. The pouring rain was washing it away, Zuko had to raise his voice to be heard. “Even your nails are a weapon.”

“Mother taught me. Hers were just like mine.”

“She wouldn’t have done that. She never would’ve done that,” Zuko said, like he was trying to convince himself.  _ Mommy’s boy,  _ Azula thought quietly.  _ Always taking his side. Always loved first. _

Their father used to say Azula was born lucky, born to ruin everything and make it better. And maybe that’s true, maybe it’s a fact. But with each passing day, Azula disagrees. She had grown into the pain, into the torture. She wasn’t born lucky. She was born a blank slate. She was born to be whatever her father wanted her to be. She was doomed from the start, even if no one realized. 

_ Only so long until it runs out of lightning. And I’m so sorry. _

“Oh, brother,” Azula shook her head, tears running down her face. Her clothes stuck to her skin, stinging her wounds. She watched as the blood streamed onto the concrete. Azula raised her chin and looked Zuko in the eyes. “There are some things you will never know. Some things you will never understand.”

**Author's Note:**

> i hope you all enjoyed! kudos and comments warm my heart!
> 
> [my tumblr!](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/hellotomyoldheart)


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